top of page
cover Red Mare 2023 brand with logos .png

You are not in business to PROVE anything.

Updated: Aug 9, 2023

How do you deal with negativity?

How do you find your way forward when people say hurtful things or you experienced a setback in your business?

During our Mastery in the Making (aka office hours) call today, a student shared the pain she felt from an incredibly nasty commenter from years ago. For years, she had hundreds of people who read her blog and loved her stories, and because of that one person’s cruel words, she stopped writing and sharing.

One person’s cruelty changed the trajectory of her business. (let that sink in)

First, I took a moment to feel into the heartbreak she felt. I held her in compassion… then I got to WORK.

Here’s what I offered this master in the making:

(Let me break it down as if it happened to you…)

Someone who would dare to write you a cruel comment… is sick.

Let’s pretend that sickness is physical. (This analogy is gross but I think this will make sense!)

The cruel commenter just vomited on you. It’s DISGUSTING.

Imagine the look on your face if that happened. You are appalled. You want to take a shower. When you wash away the sick, you KNOW IT HAS NOTHING TO DO with you.

You don’t take it personally.

You aren’t in the shower going, “wow, if ONE person is so ill she would vomit all over me like that… maybe other people secretly wish they could vomit on me?”


That vile spew isn’t personal even if it was phrased to be personal. It doesn’t make sense to lean into your fears over ONE person’s bad manners.

NO ONE gets access to you like that. You are not available for cruelty.

An appropriate response would be “wow, that was an incredibly cruel message. Whatever happened to you that made you think you should speak to other people like this must have been awful and I hope you are able to heal from this pain that you are clearly experiencing.”

OR DON’T RESPOND at all and move on with your life as if that person said you have green hair. (This doesn’t work if you have green hair! LOL)

If you don’t have green hair and someone starts commenting about how your hair is such an ugly awful, shade of green… An appropriate response is, “Um, what??!! I’m just going to ignore you.”

What people say about you, is none of your business. Even when people say good things about you, it’s not your business. You aren’t here to prove anything to anyone.


Shocking I know! You also are not in business to play into your fears.

Things will happen that you do not prefer. People will say things that you do not prefer.

Your power lies in how you choose to respond.

OPTION 1: Will you shrink back into the shadows, hide parts of yourself behind armor, carry this baggage until it breaks your back, and operate your business as if it’s a defensive mechanism?

OPTION 2: Will you integrate the lesson you can glean, drop the story of victimhood, and expand your capacity to not only handle non-preferable moments but to actually get better because of them? I’m here for you, shining a light to help you find your version of option 2 if that is what you choose.

- ✊May your desires be greater than your obstacles,

​Catherine Respess​

Visionary & Founder of Red Mare​

P.S. If you want to be the kind of person who transforms negativity into fuel for your purpose, I want to hear from you!

You are here to do GREAT things and if you are reading this, I know you are ready for MORE from what life is offering you.

Let's chat about it > FREE Business Growth Session

0 views0 comments


bottom of page